Part 1: Your Cooking Mindset - How to Get (and Stay) in the Zone
Lynley Jones
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This post is part of a series to help you cook more in 2025. Click the green button to follow along with emails to keep you on track:
Psst - don’t skip this section!
I know you might be tempted to skip forward, but here’s the thing: if you’re having a hard time reaching your cooking goals, the first step is probably on this page.
How do I know this? Well the truth is…
Quick backstory:
I used to not know how to cook. Like, at all.
That’s right: I’m the founder of Adventure Kitchen, a food business based on the recipes I write, the cooking classes I teach and the spice blends and frozen treats I’ve created. Nowadays, people literally pay me to cook.
Roasting brussels sprouts for veggie tacos
But I started out not knowing the first thing about cooking.
I grew up in a household where no one really cooked much. My mom, who stayed at home with us, was disabled. And convenience foods ruled the supermarket shelves. My mom knew how to cook - she had grown up as the oldest daughter in a home without much money, where she was expected to cook and clean do lots of other household chores.
But by the time she became a mom herself, she was severely crippled with rheumatoid arthritis. And when she made dinner for us, she gratefully used all the processed and convenience foods big corporations could throw her way.
How I learned about cooking:
As a teenager, it so happened I got my first jobs working in restaurants. Ever curious, I would lurk around the line, watching the cooks manifest meals from apparently random scraps. Wait - is that really how you make that?
So this is how I learned that the dishes we eat are made from actual food, which comes from plants and animals.
My mind was blown. Whoa. It doesn’t start with a box or a can or a powder!?!! I literally never knew mashed potatoes come from actual potatoes. (I had always wondered why they called it that. Hmm, I guess that mushy stuff they make from those boxed flakes sort of tastes potato-ish…?)
So that was my starting point. What’s yours?
Whatever it is, I can pretty much guarantee it’s better than mine was!
And I’m here to tell you, you can do this.
You want to eat more vegetables? You want to save some money? You only know how to make 5 things and want to expand your repertoire? You already cook a lot but want to level up?
Trust me, I’ve been you at every single one of those stages along my cooking journey from cooking zero to cooking pro. So trust me when I tell you:
You can cook more. And this is your year!
Prepping ingredients for Kerala Chicken Curry
But new habits are hard!
Like any new habit in life, cooking more can be hard. We’ll talk about alllll the ways this is true (dishes! time! shopping! naysayers!) in more detail later. (I’ve dealt with all of those and more.)
But for now, let’s get clear about this:
Change - any change - can be hard.
We do things the way we’ve been doing them for a reason. Maybe there’s never enough time? Maybe it’s just easier ordering takeout? Maybe it’s hard to know where to start? Maybe it just feels too daunting?
It’s not just you. In general, less than half of us even set goals or make new year’s resolutions. And out of those who do, 91% don’t reach their goals.
That means only 9% of people actually accomplish the goals they set.
Here’s some good news:
You’re going to be in that 9%, baby!
How do I know this? Because you’re here. You’re committed. And I’m here to help you.
I’ve been in your exact shoes and I’m going to be right by your side, cheering you on. Let’s go!
So how do we do this?
We’re going to start by getting crystal clear on your actual goals. You may have a hazy sense of how your life would be better if you cooked more meals at home. But that hazy idea isn’t enough to get you across the finish line. We’re about to get very specifc.
Here’s how:
Step 1: Why do you want to cook more?
At some point (maybe very soon) this will get hard. And you’re going to ask yourself why you even wanted to do this.
When there are dishes to do, when your family is complaining, when a recipe doesn’t work, when you’re pressed for time, you’re going to realize takeout would be so much easier. As Mike Tyson said, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.
So, let’s decide right now: Why are we doing this?
Sauteeing red onions for curry
First, let’s get completely honest.
Go someplace and sit down with a pencil and piece of paper. Write it down: “I want to cook more because _______________.” Your reason might be different from mine, or from your neighbor’s. So what is your reason? Really and truly.
Then, ask why again.
Whatever reason you wrote down, why do you want that? For example, if you wrote “I want to save money,” or “I want to eat healthier,” ask yourself why? Write down your answer.
Then, do it a third time.
Dig even deeper and go to the third level. Whatever reason you just wrote down, ask yourself again: why do you want that?
Deep down inside, we all want the same things. We want to be loved and appreciated. We want to have a happy family. We want to be healthy. We want to live a long life. And in the end, we want to die without regrets. But your reasons for cooking more are your own.
In order to be part of that 9% you have to be different from the 91% who haven’t really thought through this. You have to know why you’re actually doing this. The real reason this is important to you. Deep down. In writing.
And then later, when things get messy and hard, you can look at that piece of paper. You can remember. Why.
Step 2: Get specific and name your cooking goal
The title of this series says “cook more,” but that can mean a million things to a million different people. Is your goal to cook with more fruits and vegetables? To eat out less? To spend less on food? To lose weight? To learn to be a better cook? What does a “better” cook even mean to you?
Cooking cinnamon-rosemary rice for braised chicken thighs
Here are some examples of the types of goals I’ve had for myself over the years:
Cook meals that are “mostly plants” (majority fruits and vegetables)
Make most of our meals from scratch
Only eat sweets if I’ve made them myself
Learn to cook without recipes
Spend less on takeout and restaurants
Whatever your goal is, be specific and write it down.
Suggestion: the more “everyday” the easier.
In my experience, the more your new cooking routine becomes an everyday thing, the easier it will be to get over the hump and incorporate it into your daily rhythms.
If you’re not used to doing a lot of cooking, there are a lot of new routines and things to get used to, so having a goal that involves some sort of daily routine (eg, make breakfast every day or whatever) can help you build a workable system faster.
Remember, you’re doing this for you.
Go back to Step 1 and remember why you want this. Your goal isn’t for your spouse or your mother-in-law or for anyone else. So get clear about what you actually want, and build your goal around that. You do you!
Step 3: Be your own best friend!
The classic advice is to choose someone to be your accountability partner. Choose someone supportive and let them know you’ve set your goal. Better yet, partner up with someone so you can keep each other accountable.
This is a great idea, but in the real world, let’s acknowledge that it doesn’t always work.
Maybe the people closest to you aren’t super supportive. Maybe your family has strong opinions and baggage around cooking or eating. Maybe meals have been a bit stressful and chaotic in your house. Maybe everyone fights over doing the dishes. (Maybe all of this is the reason for your new goal!)
And let’s face it: statistically speaking, whoever you tell is probably in the 91% who don’t stick with their goals, not the 9% like us. So they might not get it!
So… you can be your own accountability partner!
I’ve done this for all kinds of things, and it works. The key is to set a weekly date with yourself to honestly review how things have been going. High-five yourself, remind yourself why you’re committed to this, and remember - whatever happens this week, you’ll have to answer to yourself the next week.
Tomatillos for Roasted Tomatillo Salsa
Start by setting a baby goal for each week.
If your BIG goal is to cook 5 days a week, maybe this week you start with one or two or three. Or maybe this week you add one vegetable to each meal. Or maybe you cook instead of takeout one time this week.
The idea is that you’re going to work up to the big scary goal by setting baby goals that you can totally reach each week.
Ingredients at the ready for Budin Azteca
Then schedule your weekly accountability date.
Make plans for this to be a weekly pleasure you look forward to, not a chore! Maybe you’ll sit at your favorite coffee shop, or play your favorite music, or light a candle. Maybe you’ll give yourself a special treat, something to eat or drink that you only have during your review.
I actually do this weekly review thing with all kinds of goals, from business stuff to family stuff, etc. I have a special notebook where I write things down, so I can look back over time and see where I’ve come from. You could include pictures of the things you’ve cooked!
Here’s what to ask yourself each week (and don’t forget to write down your answers!):
What were my wins this week in the kitchen?
Even if you didn’t reach this week’s goal, you probably triumphed in some way. Maybe you kept your cool with teenagers rolling their eyes. Maybe you cooked that one day when you really didn’t want to. Maybe you learned to make something with rutabagas for the first time. Maybe you made enough that you could happily eat the leftovers the next day! Whatever it is, take credit for it! You rock!
What was this week’s baby goal, and how did it go?
What worked? What didn’t work? What do I want to keep doing? What do I want to start or change? Or try again? What do I want to stop doing? This is your own safe space. We already know you’re a bona fide rock star, so be honest, and learn the learnings so you can keep going.
What’s my cooking goal for the coming week?
Maybe you want to double down, or maybe you want to ease up a bit. This is a marathon, not a sprint. With whatever else is going on in your life this week, how can you keep moving in the direction you want to go? Baby steps totally count. So think through the week ahead and decide on your mini-goals.
Step 4: Set up a system of nudges
The easiest thing is to slide back into doing things the way you’ve always done them. As we’ve already said, change is hard.
So you can help yourself by setting up a system that nudges you in the direction you want to go.
A good system will smooth the path toward your goal, while adding speedbumps and roadblocks to the detours that take you off course.
Here are some examples of systems that can help you cook more:
Schedule a weekly farmers market date or visit to a specialty shop with your kids or a friend
Join a CSA, so you’ll have to cook with all the fresh produce that keeps arriving
Sign up for a cooking class or membership
Join cooking groups or clubs, online or in real life, so you’ll be surrounded by like-minded people
Subscribe to a print magazine, and have your kids/family members choose something for you to cook each time it arrives
Start a cookbook club with friends
Consider a fun food subscription for an ingredient you want to cook with more, like cheese or spices or mushrooms
Sauteeing diced beets for Spicy Beet Curry with Beet Greens and Spiced Yogurt
And hey - this series can help!
As you can tell, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I’ve traveled the path from non-cook to professional cook, and I’ve put every single thing I know into this series to help you reach your cooking goals too. Click the green button to get weekly email prompts in your inbox.
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Next up: Discover Your Meal-Planning Style
Return to series home: Cook More in 2025